So today's entry was going to be about the second week of my crazy-hard Hebrew class, but that will have to wait til tomorrow, what I'm going to write about today takes major precedence.
The Hebrew God is supes mad at me for lightly mocking Judaism in a public forum and so he's sent down to me the one plague he didn't use when he was pissed with the Egyptians. A really, really, really bad cold.
The discerning reader is like, "How is a cold anywhere in the ballpark of the rivers turning to blood and locusts and frogs and everything gross plus all the lights going out and people bumping their heads and stubbing their toes all the time plus more bad things?"
Reader, have you ever balanced a small country on your brain while projectile sneezing snot like you're in an Exorcist straight-to-video sequel? Because that's basically what this is like.
(This is me being sad because I have a cold and therefore I am dying. This is also me hiding my face from the world because my infirmity has turned my into Quasimodo meets More Ugly Things)So in the past when I've gotten sick, Adonai has not been a part of the equation. Like I'll get the flu and I'm like "Well, that makes sense, I got the flu because my boyfriend has the flu and I was kissing him, mystery solved." But now I get a cold and I'm shaking my fist at the sky yelling "God, why have you forsaken me?"
(This is the Hebrew God being like "Hey, next time you decided to joke about divinity on your blog, why don't you try mocking Jesus. What's he going to do, turn the other cheek? Make you not blind/dead? LOVE you some more?)
The thing is, getting nose deep into all this Judaism has made me, if not one hundred percent believe in "What's Going Down, Dude Upstairs", at least be a lot more conscious of the possibility of His existence.
Coincidentally, I recently finished this book "Phantoms in the Brain", a book about neuroscience. No one get scared about the word "neuroscience", this book is basically Malcolm Gladwell/Freakonomics/This American Life of brain shenanigans.
(Click here to buy! I am Amazon.com's good little salesgirl!)So in the book, there is talk about the God Module, a section of the temporal lobe (that's in your brain, duh, you guys) that activates when you are having a religious experience (like epilepsy, apparently, according to the book). And some people's God Modules don't light up under examination because they are agnostics/atheists/ whatevericsists, and people that are religious, that part of their brain is consistently active.
So here's what I'm wondering--- by making this concentrated effort to be more Jewish, have I inadvertently started poking my own "God Module" with a brain stick?
OR am I just really grouchy about being laid up in bed and am looking for an All Knowing and All Powerful Someone to blame as opposed to having to blame the probable suspect ME for not Stay-Well-Use-Purell-ing my hands enough?
Mysteries!
Next Post: My Second Hard-Ass Hebrew Class. I'm not even hanging on by my fingernails. I'm hanging on, by, like, one. One fingernail
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