The Verb that was ALMOST the Best Hebrew Word There Ever Was

So I got really excited when I was studying Hebrew this week. No, it wasn't because I'm becoming a better and better Jew and Hebrew God is becoming less and less likely to create a Hell for Jews just so I can be in it.

No, this is why. I found the HOLY GRAIL of Hebrew vocabulary. No, no, no, that's Jesus imagery. Um.... I found the LOST ARC from the INDIANA JONES MOVIE THAT WAS GOOD of Hebrew vocabulary. Much better!

Check it.

It's backwards, because of photography, but I'm guessing 98% of the readers (what's 98% of three people?) don't even read Hebrew PLUS PLUS PLUS as it just so happens ALL Hebrew is backwards, so no worries, scurries. But for purists, here it is again in typey-type print....עלות!

But WHAT DOES IT MEAN? According to my HeebTexBoo "Ohlay" as it is pronounced, means "Cost Rise" Holy, Holy Holy Day, textbook are you telling me that there is a HEBREW WORD for the PRICE of something to GO UP? That is the most Jewish thing I've ever heard and I love it, I love it, I love it so much!

And I was so excited all day long, humming and skipping to myself, "I found a Jewy verb, the Jewiest verb in all of Jew-laaaaand!" So that night I go back to study in my book and I realized I missed something pretty crucial in my translation. Specifically, a comma. Between "cost" and "rise." Oh, עלות ,once so cool, you don't mean "cost rise", you mean "cost" AND "rise" the way "row" can mean what you do with a boat or a bunch of planted vegetable you don't want to eat. Or "dick" means "male sex organ" or "any individual that has been my ex-boyfriend" You're not the best verb there ever was. You're nothing but a dumb old homonym!

Still holding out hope that there will be silly Hebrew vocabulary that exploits Jewish stereotypes. If you know of any, this is what the comment section is for. That and yelling at me. But just remember, only Jews can laugh at their own stereotypes just like only black people are allowed to read the old version of "Huckleberry Finn" with the N word still in it.

Next Post: Way Too Hard Hebrew Class II- The Final Eyeball Melt.